Back to School, or; Ema posted about her outfit so now I want to

Well friends. It's that time again. That time to think about your first day of school outfit for a solid two hours only to have the painful realization that a) it's torrential downpour b) it's not elementary school and therefore your "back to school outfit" doesn't really apply and c) [on a personal note] nothing I wear is particularly blog-worthy. BUT I do have a lovely collection of grey sweaters you're sure to become acquainted with in the coming months.

I know I appear to have the life of a jet-setting celebrity, but true confession folks: I'm really a student.
so, let's start with the top:

sweater: helmut lang, necklace: pamela love

No, this glorious photo is not a myspace (RIP) style selfie; my arm is extended like that to show you that the sweater is two tones! Look at that! she sleeves are metallic knit where the body of the sweater is a nice wooly charcoal gray. You can't see any of these details because I am using photobooth to take these pictures (sorry, alone in my apartment with the impulse to blog and no one to force to photograph me, you know how it is)

Those of you that know me, which let's be honest, is probably 99 percent of people reading this post, will know that I am no stranger to the exposed bra with open knit sweater. Upon advisement, I've decided to throw on a black tanktop under my sweater because who wants to be NipplesGirl on the first day of class? I'll save that for the second. (Look out for my next post ;)

It's important to wear a spiky necklace that people confuse for spikes/bullets/something phallic/[insert your own observation here] so that both your professors and your fellow classmates will know not to mess with you. A few words on my facial expression: I can't not smile in pictures. Seriously. I was once photographed for nylon and made a face that can only be described as a smout, a lovely smile-pout hybrid. The picture is on the internet and I will absolutely not link it here.

Moving onto the bottom:

Jeans: levis, Boots: Rag & Bone

Remember in the early 2000's when wearing a dress over jeans was the thing? Well, if you're like me (ahem, under 5 foot 2) you can easily make that trend reappear. Bring it back, ladies. Just wear a sweater that's meant to have a slightly longer hem on full size people and you're ready to go. Extra points for uneven hem: If you happen to be really insecure about your right hip but your left is a thing of beauty, this sweater is for you. Not pictured: booties have small heel, a+

Last: 

Raincoat: Joseph, Purse: Celine 

While Ema totes a nice backpack for practical purposes, I've been known to spit on the face of pragmatism. Exhibit A: leather (not waterproof) Celine purse that kind of resembles a briefcase. The necklace says "I can kick your ass" but the purse says "But I'll be damn well professional and organized while doing it." The hood says "Hey, I know it's raining." Extra points for walking into class with that facial expression and keeping it throughout the lecture. 

Alright friends and loyal fans, gotta walk around the library looking lost until somebody talks to me

- Kayla 

*Just in case you actually want to know that the purse looks like (No, I am not in in any way affiliated with ebid.com) 

Back To School Quickie, Or; I had an epiphany before my first class and needed to share it with my lovelies.

For this glorious first day of classes (the weather being ever-so conducive to studying and patent leather boots) I have assembled the PERFECT outfit. It is subtle, creative, classy, and completely original, compiling only this fall's most avante-guarde trends to create a super trend of newness. Please hold on to your hats, ladies, because this may shock your socks off (cliché confusion? I'm in a rush):

Combine the cutting edge Outfitteurs d'Urban red, patent leather heeled combat boots with a Scottish Warioress (that's a word right?) inspired kilt. Then take your summer cami and hit it with a new twist by unbuttonning all the buttons except the one right between your boobies and tying it in a little knot. Trust me, this'll get girls screaming "WHERE did you get that CRAZY top???" (Somebody recently asked me if I bought it at Rickies, does anyone know where that is? Is it Danish?). Layer that with a mismatched blazer (clashing is IN, ladies) and top it off with ever appropriate giant hoop earrings (La Claire's), a scruntchie (hidden in this photo) and a backpack (de Jansport) for practicality.

With this flawless and innovative ensemble, you will soon be recognized by your classmates as the true fashionista we know you are. Don't forget to thank As If!

Happy first my babies,

XOXO
Gossip Girl (Sorry! It just came out!!)

--Ema




DISCLAIMER: Ema did not actually wear this out fit to all her any of her classes. She is saving it for grading season.

What We Would Wear #1: Irene Edition (OR; outfits that will blow your mind. Weak pun, I know.)

by Ema

Sooo unless you live under a giant soundproof rock with no TV, WiFi, cell phone service or radio (otherwise known as where I am currently residing in Hudson Valley, NY) you have heard about this big ol angry bitch comin' our way. Make wayyyy for Miss Irene, The embodiment of America's obesity problem (in case you're wondering how that makes any sense at all, in my head I imagine Irene as a giant, massively fat woman dressed in pink spandex huffing and puffing as she galumphs across the country, shaking the earth and raining down monsoons of sweat with every laborious step).

Anyways, as the hurricane parties are beginning to be planned (I personally am going to one tonight at the abode of a friendly local farmer who has a bird’s nest chilling in the bald spot above his ponytail and a large hot tub which I have been enthusiastically invited to use, regardless of the fact that I did not pack a bathing suit.) In order to help all y’all plan what outfits you are going to wear to your hurricane parties, I have decided to lay out a series of outfits perfect for welcoming our dear, gusty friend to the Big Apple.

Look 1

umbrella hat; xmas present from the G-Ma, Earrings: Claire’s, Necklaces; present from the G-mizzle (vintage, 1920’s), Shirt; $1 rack outside of a drycleaner’s, Cardigan; Top Shop (in the 80’s), Bangles: H&M

I like to call this look hurricane chic. It all together cost me a very costly dollar a few Xmases back, and is ever appropriate. The elastic band of the umbrella hat  gives you a nice flapper look which, when accompanied by a mess of classy chains and some pearls becomes endlessly high class vintage, and keeps your hair and shoulders dry! This look paired with some Versace rain-proof heels and a couture bedazzled rain poncho will make you completely impermeable. Let it rain baby, let it rain.

Look 2

I like to call this look The Minimalist Daredevil. Let’s face it, storms are sexy. All those dripping wet, wind-swept, hunks running around saving women from falling trees and stripping their shirts off to jump into a flooded ravine to save a drowning kitten. So sometimes you just need a look that says let’s go to the evacuated parts of Brooklyn and do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. Underpants and blurred out nipple optional.

Look 3

Take this Christopher Kane blue gingham dress and pair it with some ruby heels and a dog in a basket, cause you never know where this hurricane might take you. (Tin Man not included.)

Look 4

I know this is what I’ll be wearing. Where’s my mediocre looking lovebug to hold me in his mildly muscular arms?

HAPPY STORMING!

-- Ema